By Paul Vicary
When people hear the word resilience, they often picture someone powering through hardship with sheer will — gritted teeth, unshakable focus, no cracks in the armour.
But here’s what I’ve learned, both on the battlefield and in boardrooms: real resilience isn’t about never breaking. It’s about what you do after you bend.
The Myth of Push-Through Performance
During my military career, I saw this myth unfold time and time again. We were taught to push through pain, suppress emotion, and perform under pressure — no matter the cost.
And while that worked in the short term, it wasn’t sustainable.
I’ve had moments when I felt completely depleted — physically, mentally, emotionally. Not just in the Arctic or at Everest Base Camp, but in the quieter moments too. The transitions. The come-downs. The re-entries into civilian life after operations. I thought I was meant to be “fine.” But instead, I felt disconnected, restless, and at times, broken.
It took me years to understand: Resilience doesn’t mean being unshakeable. It means learning how to come back from the shakes.
The Real Components of Resilience
True resilience is a skillset. It includes:
- Recovery: The ability to rest, reset, and restore after stress. Sleep, movement, nutrition, and connection aren’t soft options — they’re vital tools.
- Regulation: Emotional awareness and the ability to calm your nervous system in the face of pressure. This is what allows you to think clearly and act decisively.
- Reflection: Taking time to learn from stress, not just survive it. When we reflect, we extract meaning — and that’s what transforms experience into wisdom.
This isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. It’s how elite performers — from soldiers to CEOs — stay sharp for the long game.
What This Means for Leaders
If you’re a leader, resilience isn’t just about how much you can carry. It’s about how well you help others recover too.
Your team doesn’t need a hero who never shows strain. They need a human who models recovery, regulates under pressure, and reflects openly. That’s how we build trust, capacity, and performance that lasts.
This is what I teach in my coaching clinics and keynotes — not just motivation, but actionable tools that build long-term resilience, from individuals to entire teams.
From the Poles to the Present
When I led expeditions across the North and South Poles, I learned that you don’t survive extremes by braving the storm alone — you survive by preparing, pausing, and knowing when to pull back so you can move forward stronger.
Today, I coach others to do the same. Because resilience is not a mindset you magically wake up with. It’s a practiced skillset. One that can be trained, shaped, and improved — for life.
Want to Go Deeper?
🔗 Book me for a keynote or team session on high-performance resilience — or reach out if you’re ready to develop your own recovery strategies.
Let’s redefine resilience — and make it something that sustains you, not just something you survive with.